you

so um??? there’s no specific format I’m going to use or some specific content I’m going to write, only what I want to say which is really long so it’s better if it’s a whole paragraph explaining how I feel.

since I’ve dated you I’ve never been so full of positive energy. even in the boring, stale city of Jeddah a single text from you or a 15 minute messenger call would make me so so happy. you listened to me vent when my brothers were being asses or my parents were being inconsiderate. and if it was anyone else I’d have felt awkward talking on call given I had nothing to talk about. but you made it so easy. and you honestly made me feel so refreshed daily that I wouldn’t resort to overthinking and hence getting anxious as much as I did before. that’s what I mean when I say you’re great for my mental health because you’re so fucking perfect and you never demand I give all of me while you give me nothing, because that’s what used to happen before. Now in LUMS of course it’s a bit hard adjusting for both of us, and till now my room hasn’t been properly cleaned and it’s so fucking hot so socializing becomes more exhausting and I swear the happiest I was yesterday was first at the library, then at Philly’s and then in the student lounge where even if there were more people it felt like it was just you and me. and that’s why I was laying my head on you and wanted to nap for a bit because in that moment I felt so much at peace. And also because I’d love to sleep cuddled up next to you. I just hope I never get too annoying to the point where you feel like you’re done with me.

and in the library?? holy fuck you little shit. you kept touching my thighs and other places and it felt so fucking good that’s why I couldn’t make eye contact with you. whenever you put your hands on my thigh or somewhere else I swear it feels m a g i c a l like I can’t explain it. even though I was enjoying it I also really wanted to kiss you then that’s why I kept asking you to look back at the coursepack in front of us.

i love you so fucking much.